My local baseball team is in the World Series. The Atlanta Braves are playing my former local baseball team, the Houston Astros.
It feels strange. When I moved here this would be a midweek series between two low-rated NL West rivals. I could have gotten into the old Fulton County Stadium for a fiver and brought a book. Or I could have listened to Skip Carey call the game from this same desk in Kirkwood.
The Braves have been in Atlanta since 1966. Before that they were in Milwaukee. My late mother was a Braves fan. They were in Boston. (Locals will tell you they made another move, leaving the city for Cobb County in 2017, after the local Republican machine gave them “incentives” (taxpayer giveaways) worth $1 billion. (Democrats won the next county election.)
The name goes back to 1912 when a New York businessmen named James Gaffney, affiliated with the Tammany Hall machine, bought what had once been the Boston Beaneaters. (Tammany members were called Braves.) The team was one a National League original. In fact the team predates the league.. The new name was meant to appeal to working class Democrats. My mom was an O’Donnell.
Anyway, the name is even more politically incorrect now than it was then. What to do, what to do?
I have an answer.
The Atlanta Brave.
Make the tomahawk a fire axe. The red Indian becomes a fireman. The teams’ other colors are blue and white. A blue cop (I suggest an African-American face) and a white EMT. Line them up under the fire axe. The faces can alternate colors, and sexes, depending on the promotion. On Memorial Day and other patriotic holidays, change it to all to green and make them servicemen.
Done.
The Cleveland Indians had a similar opportunity and went with an idiotic nickname that was already taken. I hope Liberty Media, the Colorado conglomerate that now owns the team (the local GOP couldn’t even give away tax money to one of their own) isn’t quite so stupid. They should sell the team this winter, when its value is at its height, and let the new owner rename it.
Then when they sing the national anthem, let ‘em all scream on the last word.
