I don’t pretend to be a great man. I’m barely average. I try to get better. I try to overcome an upbringing of white privilege, in the Long Island suburb of Massapequa, where I lived until I was 18.
My father passed away in 1999. He could be sexist, racist, and misogynistic. He could also be wildly creative, imaginative, and a great salesman. When he got very drunk (he was a WWII veteran) he’d call himself a “true Aryan.” But he did the best he could. He ran Tower TV, the local TV repair shop, then got into security and locksmithing after moving to California. All four of his kids wound up solidly in the American middle class. His younger son (not me) taught calculus to generations in Los Angeles public schools.
It wasn’t until I moved to Atlanta that I found true manhood. I found it in our “block club,” a group of families on our street who met monthly to exchange news and advocate for services.
These men were true servants. They served their families and their community. When they accepted leadership, whether at church or elsewhere, it was earned through work, and treated as a grave responsibility. They raised their children with values. I can’t remember any divorces among them. They really were the Greatest Generation.
They were also all black. They were all lower middle-class. The one who became closest to me was a carpenter. Cantrell Johnson preached on Sunday and literally lived as Jesus did.
Most of what I’m seeing classified as “manhood” today is brohood. It’s not about serving, it’s about ruling. It’s not about building strength inside but exhibiting it outside. It’s controlling. It’s a lot like my dad.
We find it in the Northwestern “hazing” scandal. We see it on the floor of Congress with jerks like Josh Hawley. We see it in the media with people like Joe Rogan. It’s all about flex and physical strength, or the shortcut of following some grifting preacher.
This has always been with us. In medieval society, it was essential. But it’s counterproductive in a Moore’s Law society. In the 21st century, it’s minds and talent that make the money, not brawn and certainly not inherited authority.
Talent can be found anywhere, in women as well as men, in people of all colors and backgrounds. Hard work and talent aren’t distributed based on who you love, or how, or where you come from, or even where you were educated.
The job of leaders in a Moore’s Law society is to nurture as much talent as possible, and to give it the freedom to find its way. That’s what American society traditionally does.
We must not forget that. We must continue to work for it, and resist anyone who would take these advantages from us.
